If you know pretty damn sure it is time for you to hit the road, then there are some things you need to know. First don't let them on to your planning to leave. Hell hath no fury than a Narc that gets dumped first. Believe me!! Be prepared, my dear reader, this is when you will be subject to every kind of fresh hell they can think of and there is no going back.
Protect your A$$...ets!
Banking/Credit/ Retirement/ Pensions/ Life insurance
BE FOR CERTAIN, all these things are being accessed by your Narc. They know what you're spending, your bank balances, and even what amounts are in your retirement and pensions. They are even slick enough to add themselves to these accounts. Check them! Double and triple check them! They are also monitoring your credit. Yes, you heard me! For however long, they have been getting alerted when you're buying a car or opening new accounts. Don't think for a minute they aren't capable of this. After all, they know your SS#, mother's maiden name, and your first pet! While you're in a relationship with a Narc, even early on, they will want to know all your personal info and deepest secrets. It's in their playbook and it's all stored in their evil little heads for future use. If they can't use this info to their advantage then they will most certainly use it to destroy you. Trust they will manipulate you anyway they can to pull this info from you or your family.
CHANGE EVERYTHING!!
This is so very important. It may seem as a major inconvenience to do this, but it beats losing everything you've worked hard all your life for. Most survivors, women AND men, are often left broke, homeless, and with no means to start over once they've escaped Hell. You can prevent this.
Bank accounts:
Close them and reopen at a new bank. If you are married to the Narc and chose to just take them off the account, they will go to the one person that can be easily manipulated into getting their way back into your accounts. If you're still married, go to a new bank and open a second account to sock away your funds. It is best to use a completely different bank and never mention this new bank. The Narc can easily use the automated phone system of your bank to know your every purchase. Never for whatever reason it is, send a check or anything that would have the name of your new bank or credit union on it to your Narc or children that reside with your Narc. Thats all the info they need to get started.
Credit:
Lock down your credit and monitor it yourself. Most likely they're monitoring your credit as well. Nothing like making a big purchase and the Narc you have been divorced from for some time contacts you a week after making said purchase and questions you about it. As if it is any of their business. Then you're questioning how in the hell do they know?! Personally, I believe it's also their attempt at letting you know they're still in control and that you can never get away from them.
*If they ever cross the line of accessing a credit account, make a report with law enforcement immediately! They cannot do much, but it's enough to warrant you getting a new SS# and if divorced, consider going back to the courts where your divorce was finalized. It is against the law or its contempt I believe, for a former spouse to access accounts that are stated on the decree as the other party's separate accounts. Check your divorce papers where the division of debt is mentioned.
Retirement accounts/Pensions/Investments:
Make sure to update beneficiaries asap for your 401k's, Pensions, Investments AND update that Will! And do not leave these to anyone involved with or manipulated by your Narc. Very important! Make sure copies of these docs are made and certified by a notary so that there is no mistake or any way for the Narc to stake a claim on your assets. Keep these in a location elsewhere, not at your home or office where your Narc can access them. They may turn up missing. If you are no longer with your employer then withdraw and move all pensions, retirement plans and investments to a new financial institution, safe and sound and away from prying Narc eyes!
*So glad we did all the above!
Remember you're dealing with a money hungry individual who will do anything and everything they can to take everything you have and leave your life, finances, and reputation in ruins.
Hear this and remember it...... Whats theirs is theirs, what's yours is theirs! There is no other way with them. They will manipulate, lie, and control you and your money. If you stop at the gas station for a pack of smokes and a coke, trust, they will know.
Trust me, they will even try to take your travel points/air miles if they can. I personally experienced that. I was contacted by an account that we use for travel, an individual was trying to claim the account for themselves. The customer service rep confirmed with me who the individual was and helped me create a new account and transferred our points/miles once I provided proof of my identity.
No matter how small the account, whether it be for travel, bank, or credit.... leave no stone unturned to protect yourself.
So you're dealing with a Narcissistic Sociopath - Part 1 of 4
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So you're dealing with a Narcissistic Sociopath Part 2 - Personal Information
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