Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

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Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."

Pernicious Abuse

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists on an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no-one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, what I will term pernicious abuse is something which can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abusecan lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter - something which is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it happen.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim because everything done to manipulate them is done outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down. Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out... or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head wondering "is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral - at times when the victim will least expect it.

Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least.... time and time again.

In many cases the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind which can literally drive them crazy - post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow. That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down - they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world, they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them any more except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and in many cases after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul - often referred to as soul murder.

Eventually the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fear that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take it's toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

• Marc Hubs is the author of Know Your Enemy: Reflections Of NPD

Here’s Why “Reactive Abuse” Is The Narcissist’s and Psychopath’s Favourite Move

A very common aspect of psychological abuse and manipulation is for the abuser to claim that the victim is being abusive towards them. I’ve written about the abusers “victim complex”, and “gaslighting” in this manner before.

But right now I want to address the specific scenario in which the victim snaps at the abuser. They endure and endure, they have been told that there is nothing to react to, they have been told they overreact to everything, so they are afraid to mention their hurt, and confusion, and cannot acknowledge they are being abused.

The endure so much for so long, they snap. They scream at the abuser. Insult them. Maybe even throw in a low-blow or unfair insult. They may even physically attack, although this is very very uncommon in victims of abuse.

The abuser jumps on this reactionary outburst. They claim it is “proof” that the victim is unstable. They claim it is “proof” that the victim is the abuser after all. They can hold it up, and hold it against the victim for as long as they can, and as hard as they can.

They are not interested in talking things out. They are not interested in listening to why this outburst has happened. They have their “proof”, and that’s all they ever needed from the victim. They get to say things like, “YOU’RE the one who frightened ME”, and “you are an emotional time bomb” and “I have to walk on eggshells around you”, and have the victim believe it.

While the abuser is the actual time-bomb, and the victim is frightened and walking on egg shells, but dare not admit it or bring attention to it, or has been so deeply abused they don’t even see it themselves.

The abuser turns the roles, and paints themselves as the victim.

This leads the victim to believe they are in fact the abusive one in the relationship. They now believe they are violent and emotionally unstable, and may start describing themselves as such and seeking help for these problems.

This does not mean that the reaction was okay. It is never okay to treat another person with violence. However, it is understandable. And it is very important to differentiate this kind of reaction with the kind of ongoing abuse that causes it.

I don’t think it’s fair to call Reactive Abuse “abuse”, because the word implies a severe violence that causes detriment to the mental and physical well being of the victim. “Reactive Abuse” almost never actually harms the true abuser it was aimed at – in fact it is often exactly what they wanted, and only bolsters their sense of self-righteousness and fuels their power over the victim.

A good way to tell a victim who reacted to abuse, and a psychologically abusive person creating a smear campaign against a victim is their attitudes toward their own actions.

Victims will almost always be able to admit their own faults. They will know they reacted badly and did wrong. This quality is actually what the abuser uses against them in the first place to make them believe they are the ones in the wrong. Part of healing from abuse is learning to point out which of the abusers behaviors are, in fact abuse, while still acknowledging what you handled badly. (And everyone reacts badly to things when under the extreme pressure of abuse!).

Abusers will almost never admit they have ever done anything wrong at all. Their victims will be blamed for everything. They will hold every tiny thing against the victim, even things they could not possibly control, or they have never tried to talk to them about. They use social bigotries against the victim, and in their own defense. (Especially mental illness is used in this way – they believe their own illness excuses them from every wrongdoing, and their victims illness is proof they are in the wrong).

The most dangerous, most intelligent psychologically abusive people will even try to fake being able to admit their own mistakes. But they almost always get tripped up in the details, by claiming “oh I handled that badly -” but following it up with “-but only because of (something that is the victims fault after all)”.

Source: Here’s Why “Reactive Abuse” Is The Narcissist’s and Psychopath’s Favourite move 

Narcissistic Abuse: An Unspoken Reality

Revenge Obsession

What is Revenge Obsession? 

Vendetta Stalking is a sign of Revenge Obsession. It’s an extreme form of Narcissistic Abuse conducted by the world’s most ruthless people.

According to obsessive-ex.com, “In revenge cases, the Obsessive Ex wants the leaving partner to be punished or tormented. The Obsessor believes that the leaving partner deserves to be punished or harmed for perceived ‘wrongs’. They don’t love the ex-partner anymore; the obsession has only to do with trying to wreak continuing damage to the ex-partner’s life. They will even pursue avenues of revenge that harm their own children.”

Take a seat, settle in under your favorite comfy blanket with a hot cup of tea by your side to sip, and get ready to read, reflect, learn, and listen. If you have been targeted for social destruction by an obsessed stalker, understand you are in social, moral, physical, and spiritual danger. It matters not whether the person is or was a love interest or is a family member. 

Victims targeted by an ex with a revenge obsession are typically trapped in an endless nightmare of a high conflict divorce situation. Despite making every attempt to have as little as humanly possible to do with an ex in the hopes they will get on with their own life and find happiness elsewhere, the targeted ex is persistently hunted.

Truly, the revenge-obsessed ex will recruit new romantic interests. Every disgruntled or rejected suitor who they know failed to create and maintain a happy, healthy friendship, business partnership, or romantic relationship will be hunted down and grilled for personal information about you. Every single person they can find to help them create drama and make pain for their ex will be used as a punishment tactic — more so if the only thing they are guilty of doing is trying to escape.

For an obsessed ex or jealous new partner of an obsessed ex, mobbing tactics of Narcissistic Abuse are typically employed.

Tactics include smear campaigning, gaslighting friends and family into believing the aggressor is actually the victim, telling tales about mental instability of the targeted ex in order to ensure if they ever decide to talk and report abuse [to family, friends, or the authorities] that the well has already been poisoned, and WORSE. They go out of their way to convince anyone who will listen to them that their preferred scapegoat target is delusional, malevolent, insanely jealous of them, and out to socially harm or destroy them, too.