Informative Video

Personally, this explains sooo much! 

Update

 During this time that we are under stay at home orders, Ive been able to complete some projects that I've put off and now have a lot more time to focus on this blog and the Facebook page associated with it.  

Ive jotted down notes in my planner here and there, now  it's just a matter of making sense of those notes and posting them online.  

My goal is to post every Sunday, so we'll see how that goes.   

On a side note...Thanks Narc Stalker, for every time you visit, Im reminded that I need to update more often.  :-)


UPDATE:  

Well that didn't work out.  Lol!  I ended up busier that I thought I would be during this time.  Going to try this again.....

Are you a Narcissist?

What I see a lot of in forums are victims questioning themselves on if they are the Narcissist or not.
First of all, if you have to ask yourself that question .... You're not.   The Narcissist in your relationship has played with your head for so long that they have you thinking that you're the crazy Narcissistic one.

Narcissists:
Lie
Manipulate
Are verbal abusive
Think they are more attractive than others when it is obvious they aren't
Are vindictive
Think they know it all
Put others down
Think everything is about them
Believe rules do not apply to them
Are not sympathetic to others
Are extremely envious of others
Stalk a targets social media/blogs


Monitor a targets finances
They cheat
They have to be in control of everything
Feel good when they concoct stories of being abused and people feel sorry for them
Need attention
Hack into the emails or iCloud account of a target or others
Feel the need to contact an employer to cause problems for a target
Access the financial information or personal accounts of a target
Monitor a targets credit information
Accuse their target of needing mental help
Feel they need to trash their target to anyone that will listen and on social media/blogs
Have to wreck havoc in a targets life
Accuse the target of stalking or being a Narcissist
Accuse their target of doing things to them when it is the Narcissist that is actually doing it
Falsely accuse a target of abuse and will have them arrested. This is another way of damaging a targets reputation.

The list goes on and on!

The behaviors above are just the tip of the iceberg of what a Narcissist does.  They also don't realize that they ALL share the same behaviors.  It's like they all learn from the same book.  One thing is certain, once you've had to deal with one, you can practically see them coming from a mile away.

So, youre dealing with a Narcissistic Sociopath. Part 4 - Social Media

Besides reconnecting with family, past coworkers, and old classmates, everyone loves sharing bits and pieces of their lives on social media.  We love sharing images of our kids, grandkids, and our nights out with friends.   Its great!  I love it too!   But.... when dealing with a Narc sharing too much is not a good thing.  That pic you took of you and the new person in your life at that restaurant will be saved and studied..... before you're done with dessert the Narc will know where you ate, what you ate, and how much it cost.   And this even when you've split with your Narc months or years before, they will stalk you and want to know every detail of your life they can get their hands on.

In order to keep your life to yourself and out of your Narcs prying eyes..... Social Media Shutdown.  Yep.  Unfortunately, thats a must.  You also need to disassociate yourself from anyone that even remotely knows your Narc or knows someone that knows your Narc.  If not, all that you do will still find its way to the Narc.  If you want to keep your connections, use a chatting app like WhatsApp, text messaging, or create a whole new temporary acct with complete lockdown.   Don't use a profile photo, don't use your real name, and disable the add friend and message buttons on the acct and keep connections to a minimum and add only those that will maintain your privacy.   But I do stress with the latter option to check and recheck your privacy settings often and make sure nothing leaks through.  FB is known for somehow screwing up and leaking out some of your info or images publicly.   Do the same for Instagram, create new temp acct, no profile image, no name or nickname that the Narc could associate you with.

Best thing though is to cut it all off for a while.  If you've gone no contact, this is best.  Your Narc will have no way to contact you through social media and its best for you so there will be no temptation in peeking at what they're doing.  Because trust me, ANYTHING they post is all for show.  This is also when they will post the meanest nastiest fiction about you to draw you out to get you to be upset, react, and break no contact. They know you will.  So go no contact and stay no contact.  And should anyone come to you and says, "Hey, so & so  is saying this and that about you", show no emotion, shrug it off, and say "oh well" and end that conversation.  Because once it gets back to the Narc that you didn't give two shits about what they said, he/she will explode.  It's already killing them that they are either losing or have lost control over you so they will try anything and everything they can again and again to get to you.  No contact is not going to be easy, but just hang in there!  Eventually they will realize that they must go on to their next target, which they've already had waiting on the back burner.

Stay strong, fellow survivors!