I hear this a lot.......

Why do they do this?  Why does she/he treat me this way?  I need to change to be better.   How can I prove that I love her/him   I need to work harder.

Victims have got to stop blaming themselves, they have got to stop feeling that everything is their fault.  I know easier said than done.  There has got to be a way for victims to realize its not them.  They're being abused.   Narcissists manipulate you into thinking everything is your fault and that you are worthless.   It's what they do to gain control over you, make you think no one else will love you like they do.  You will NEVER make a Narcissist happy because they can never be happy.  They only feel good when they are causing you pain and suffering.

Victims have to believe they are more than enough!  They need to see that they are amazing good hearted people!  They need to understand that is why a Narcissist targeted them in the first place.   It is because they are what a Narcissist can never be.....loved, happy, strong..... the list goes on.   Narcissists are sad empty shells, they can feel these things, or be human for that matter.  They can act like they do... because they've learned how to mimic these emotions.  They are envious and evil individuals....not to mention dangerous to your mental health.  

Narcissists are always on a seek and destroy mission.   Some are lucky enough to see them for what they are and get out early, some that are involved with a Narcissistic long term, not so lucky.   They take away all that is good about an individual - their good heart, soul, career, finances, and they also see to it that you have no support system so they make sure that your friends, family, and even your own children have turned against you.   And they will believe what the Narcissist says - that you are the one that needs help.  Well, of course you do!  You're being mentally abused!  They won't see that you're trying to hide your pain and suffering.  They'll only "see" what the Narcissist wants them to see, that you're an addict, abusive, and even suicidal.  That is what they do and will always do, victim after victim.  

Once a Narcissist knows what there is to know about you, then the games begin.  You will fall in love with all the wonderful things that you hear, dreams of the perfect life you've always wanted, a perfect family, wonderful gifts, trips, etc.  You will even hear that you are their "soulmate".  Occasionally, that mask will slip, just a little, but you will pay no mind to it.... you will still be sucked in by all the lies!   Ultimately, you will fall so in love with this bullshit, you will believe in and do anything they say.   Never take anything from a Narcissist.  You will have sold your soul to the devil.  When you "act up" they will always bring up all they've done for you in order to keep you in line.   Control.  

Narcissists will also marry multiple times.  During these marriages they also tend to have multiple affairs.  Why?  They're always on the look out for their potential next victims....usually its for money,  money is power and control to them.  What's theirs is theirs, what's yours is theirs.   You are merely something to be used, tossed away, and replaced when you no longer have anything to give them.  If you finally realize what you are dealing with and leave them before they are ready to discard you, be prepared for battle.   They will not accept this.  Why?  They cannot be alone.  They fear this more than anything.   The Narcissist has invested in so much time and energy manipulating you, it's too much work to have to start all over to successfully control another victim.   This is why they also have affairs, they have someone ready to take your place almost immediately.  A Narcissist will still try to pull you back in anyway they can.   If they feel you are slipping from their clutches and can no longer be controlled, then they set out to destroy you anyway they can.

If they cant have their "toy", then they'll break it so no-one else can play with it.



In the end, what you end up involved with is pure evil behind a mask and a life of hell and torment.  Watch for the red flags.  If you feel something isn't quite right about someone......RUN!